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Hi there! Welcome to the J & J Blog. A place for pretty things and wedding tips.

Hi, I'm Sammy

8 Tips for Being the Best Maid of Honor you can Be!

May 29, 2019

maid of honor

Maids/Matrons of Honor, this one’s for you! And brides, if you haven’t chosen or popped the Maid of Honor question yet, this one is also for you! It’s helpful for brides to have a little bit of background on the actual duties of a Maid of Honor before making things official, because if we’re being honest, it’s a pretty big responsibility. When choosing your MOH, you want to be sure you’re not putting too much on someone’s plate or frankly, asking someone unreliable.

So gals, grab your Maid of Honor and a glass of wine, and let’s jump into 8 Tips to Being the Best Maid of Honor You Can Be!

#1: Accept with Honor

Being asked to be someone’s Maid of Honor is a wedding festivity that, in my opinion, has lost some of its spark. The sentiment behind it is actually deeply touching. Your best friend, sister, cousin, etc. has chosen you to be a LARGE part of her big day and therefore trusting you with some very important wedding responsibilities. The actual definition of a maid/matron of honor is “the head bridesmaid, leading the other bridesmaids in the planning of wedding festivities; the principle bridesmaid, attending the bride and keeping her calm on wedding day.” Basically you are the leader of the pack, the right-hand-woman, and the bride’s person of comfort.

That’s huge. Accept her proposal with honor and be so excited it’s on the verge of annoying.

Also, if you are asked to be maid/matron of honor and you know you will not have time for it, I would suggest gracefully declining and passing the torch. Trust me, it will be a lot worse when your bride thinks she has a rock of a maid-of-honor to help her, then she can’t get in touch with you because you are working 100 hours per week or trying to finish your doctorate dissertation.

#2: Be There

One of the biggest duties you will have as a maid of honor is to simply be there for your bride. Be there when she needs to have a girl’s night away from wedding planning. Be there when she needs to vent about her crazy mom who is trying to take over wedding plans, and be there for those big wedding festivities like dress shopping.

Now, I say all of those things with the assumption that your bride is a reasonable human being. I’m not saying you have to be her servant or let her be mean to you by any means. I’m telling you to simply be there for your sweet, sweet friend.

#3: Don’t Wait for her to Ask about Duties

Man oh man, this is a big one. As Maid of Honor, you know when you accept the job that there are certain things you will be in charge of. These things include a Bridal Shower and a Bachelorette Party. Do not, I repeat, do not let time slip by and leave it up to your bride to have to call you 3 months before the wedding and say, “Hey um, I was thinking of getting the girls together for maybe a bach weekend- do you think you could help me throw it together?” No mam. She has enough to plan and worry about. It is your duty to start planning these things very early on, so she doesn’t have to feel stressed or feel guilty for having to ask for it.

#4: Be the Bridesmaid Ring Leader

Picture yourself as the liaison between the bride’s wedding plans and the rest of the bridesmaids. Are there a lot of instructions for wedding morning? Maybe a parking deck that is hard to find at the venue? It’s your job to help the other bridesmaids know exactly what to do (in advance)  so the bride doesn’t have to get herself in a tizzy trying to drop pin locations to 9 girls while she’s fixing her hair for her rehearsal dinner.

bridesmaids

#5: Save the Drama for yo Mama

Oooo this is another big one and piggybacks off of #4. When there is a group of girls (small or large) picking out matching dresses and making plans, the likelihood of  drama is, let’s just say, greater than normal. It is your job as the bridesmaid ring leader to help prevent drama and shut it down real quick if it arises. Let’s just say one of the gals hates the dress that was picked and she starts complaining about it at the bridal shower. It would be a “Star Maid of Honor move” to pull her aside and say something really calm and sweet like “ I know the dresses are not the most gorgeous thing in the world, but Susie really loves them, let’s just just grin and bare it for her. We’ll probably laugh about it in 20 years!”

#6: Plan a Bridal Shower

Like we mentioned earlier, planning a bridal shower is one of the Maid of Honor duties, along with the Bachelorette Party, that just comes with the job. Now I’m not going to list out every planning step in detail (this post would quickly turn into a 20 page paper), so today I’m just going to give you the high points for both the bridal shower and bachelorette weekend:

1: Ask you bride if she would like a bridal shower and if she has any preferences (restaurant setting, small, large, themed, co-ed, etc.)

2: Shoot an email or call the bride’s mom and/or future mother-in-law to see if they have already thought of throwing a shower. If so, ask if they would prefer it to be only family. If it’s family only, just let them do their planning thing and you get to work on planning one for the friends. If it’s not family only, ask if they would like to join forces and if you can help take the lead on any planning areas.

3: Choose a timeline (you might have to wait to pick a specific date if you are hosting at a venue). Showers should be held around 2-3 months before the wedding. And if you have to do it closer to the wedding, I would stick to 2 weeks before at the latest. Don’t get into wedding week – that’s sacred rest time.

4: Book a venue or confirm the use of a friend/family member’s house. This should be done as far in advance as possible.

5: Set date in stone. Make sure the important folks are available before setting the date!

6: Pick a theme/color scheme/decor.

7: Delegate to-do’s. Break the planning up into small tasks and divide and conquer with the other bridesmaids and/or family members.

8: Pick out games, party favors, snacks, drinks, etc.

9: Order/purchase supplies early!

10: Send out invitations at least a month before the event. Be sure to include an RSVP option!

11: Keep up with RSVP’s and adjust food orders as needed.

12: Help with Party Setup!

13: At the party, be in charge of the flow of events and be sure the gifts are being documented for thank you notes!

14: Help with Party Breakdown!

bridesmaid bouquet

#7: Plan the Bachelorette Weekend

1: Ask you bride if she would like a bachelorette weekend and if she has any preferences (small, large, themed, beach, city, mountains etc.)

2: Get really real with her about her expectations and limitations. Does she want strippers and phallic-shaped decor? Or does that absolutely offend her? Does she envision an up until 4 AM rager or would she prefer a quaint wine night? Are there any behaviors she does not want at her party? It’s your job to find these things out.

3: Choose a timeline (you might have to wait to pick a specific date if you are hosting at a venue). Bach weekends should be held around 2-6 months before the wedding.

4: Book accommodations or confirm the use of a friend/family member’s house. This should be done as far in advance as possible.

5: Set the date in stone. Make sure to consult with the rest of the crew before setting the date!

6: Pick a theme/color scheme/decor.

7: Delegate to-do’s. Break the planning up into small tasks and divide and conquer with the other bridesmaids.

8: Pick out games, party favors, snacks, drinks, etc.

9: Order/purchase supplies early!

10: Send out invitations at least a month before the event. Be sure to include an RSVP option!

11: Make dinner/activity reservations as early as possible!

12: Help with Party Setup! Coordinate with the gals to have the house decorated before the bride gets there. It’s such a fun surprise!

For more Bachelorette Weekend planning tips, check out 7 Tips to Take your Bachelorette Weekend to the Next Level

bridesmaid robes

#8: HAVE FUN

Seriously, have an absolute blast. You are celebrating one of your favorite people in the entire world, so soak up every minute make it fun! You both with cherish the process later on!

Happy Wedding Planning!

Xoxo,
Sammy

Interested in having the Jackson & June team plan, coordinate, or design your big day? Find out more info here!

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